Fever Dream

Thursday, August 23rd, minutes before 9pm

Sydney from Sydney taps me on the shoulder and warns me about the barback. "He takes your drink from you before you're finished" he says. I thank him, but quietly make a note of where my drink is. I am drinking vegetable juice. Maybe there's Vodka in it, but you can't tell because veggie juice masks those things. I was wondering if I was drunk yet, and I see that barback walking in my direction. He has a stack of pint glasses about 6 feet tall in his hand. I become embarrassed to keep my drink because he has walked all the way over here with that giant stack. How heavy it must be, I thought, as he slipped the glass under the bottom of the stack. My juice fell to the floor. I began feeling hot and thirsty when Sydney from Sydney scares me from behind. "So Toby", he says in a hoarse voice, "you don't even notice El Diablo anymore, do ya?" I answered, "No."


Sometime between Saturday and Sunday

I'm making out with Nicolas Cage's second cousin at a wedding shower party for my dad. I can't keep my mind on the kiss because I'm wondering if this whole Nick Cage-second-cousin-thing is some kind of lie.



Last Night

I'm laying on a bench when I feel something fuzzy brush the back of the hand that's hanging just an inch from the ground. I open my eyes and I see a little monkey. I don't do anything. I'm not scared of it, so I don't get up, but I'm not impressed with it, so I don't try to grab it. I decide that it is a bit ugly and I hope it goes away. It doesn't. Instead, this monkey climbs onto my bench and lies on the curve of my back. I almost thought it was cute, but then I stuck to the initial judgment that it is ugly and I hope it goes away.



Night sweats are shit!
Earaches are shit!
Cough drops are shit!
Japanese over-the-counter pain relievers are shit!
Mitsuya Cider is shit!
Sensitive temples are shit!
Bacteria is shit!
TV Links is shit!
Throat spray is shit!
Celsius is shit!
People's blogs are shit!
Emergency rooms are shit!